


Falling in love

by slowroad



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Canon Divergence, Falling In Love, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-04-27
Packaged: 2018-05-31 05:48:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6458350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slowroad/pseuds/slowroad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harvey has an epiphany...he's in love with Mike and he has been for a while. Somehow he's managed not to notice. He knows it now and he has absolutely no idea what to do. Just a straightforward, falling in love story. No angst whatsoever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_How do you fall in love with someone and not realise it?_ Harvey wondered. He'd always thought himself a fairly self-aware person. He always knew what was going on inside his head even when he was bullshitting others. But this time he'd let his 'I don't care about anyone' attitude cloud his mind enough to completely miss the fact that somewhere along the line, he’d fallen in love with his associate.

Mike mattered to him in a way that no one else ever had. He woke up every morning looking forward to seeing him. He spent hours working with Mike and thoroughly enjoyed watching him learn and every time Mike did something brilliant, Harvey would swell with pride. He’d assumed that it was the pride of a mentor, but apparently it was more than that. 

He knew that now and the funny thing was that it hadn't been a big realisation. It wasn't brought on by jealousy or anything like that. Though Harvey would now admit to rather an intense dislike for Rachel Zane. She was pretty and reasonably smart, but she was nowhere near good enough for Mike. Mike was extraordinary. He was special and not just because of that remarkable brain of his. 

Harvey might make fun of Mike and his tendency to care about everything and everyone, but it was that more than anything else that made him special. Mike had a giant heart and Harvey didn't want him wasting that on someone who was less than worthy. Was he himself worthy? Not really. But he was fiercely loyal and he would do anything for Mike. He'd already put his career on the line for him and he would happily do more. 

So getting back to his epiphany... It happened in the quietest of ways. It was past midnight on a weekday and Harvey and Mike were in Harvey's apartment, writing briefs, going over documents, reading through depositions and preparing questions for a big trial that was coming up. It was quiet and they were both working in silence, looking up every now and then to ask a question or cross check a particular detail.

Harvey finished with one stack of documents and then he put down his pen and stretched. He looked at Mike who was sitting on the other side of the table with his head bent, highlighter in his mouth, small frown creasing his forehead as he studied the deposition in front of him.

Suddenly his brow cleared and he smiled a little smile of triumph and he grabbed the highlighter and marked a few lines in the deposition. Then he dropped the highlighter, grabbed his pen and made a few quick notes on his notepad. Harvey didn’t know why he was watching Mike so intently, but there was something about watching that big brain of his at work that he found utterly fascinating.

Mike looked up at that moment and he smiled…it was such an open and such a happy smile, like there was nothing he liked more than sitting around in Harvey’s apartment in the middle of the night drowning in paperwork. Mike smiled all the time, he was a happy puppy as Donna liked to call him. But there was something about this particular smile and this particular moment, just the two off them working quietly together that sent a wave of tenderness through Harvey’s heart.

Mike smiled again and then he went back to his deposition. Harvey picked up the stack of documents in front of him and tried to get back to work, but he couldn’t. He was too distracted, too busy trying to analyse what he’d just felt. It was a foreign feeling. He understood desire, he understood loyalty and friendship. But tenderness? He looked over at Mike again and he had the desire to run his fingers through Mike’s hair. He wanted to wrap his arms around Mike and just hold him for a minute.

He wanted to kiss him and ravish him as well, but he’d wanted to do that from the very beginning. So it was nothing new and Mike was a very attractive young man, so desire he could make sense of. And so far, he’d managed to deal with it by choosing not to act on it. But it was the other stuff that he couldn’t understand. Why did he feel all warm and tingly when Mike smiled at him like he’d done just now? Why did it feel so good to have Mike in his home?

Harvey closed his eyes for a minute and tried to understand his feelings. That he was even trying to do that, said a lot about his relationship with Mike. There was no doubt that Mike had got under his skin…it took him a few minutes, but he figured it out. And it said a lot about his poker face that while he was freaking out thinking - _Oh my God! I’m in love with Mike. What the hell am I going to do? -_ his face showed nothing, nothing that Mike would notice anyway.

He opened his eyes to see Mike looking at him. “Maybe you should go sleep. I can finish up here,” he said.

Harvey wasn’t sleepy exactly, but he was tired and still reeling under the sudden epiphany, so he knew he wouldn’t be able to get any work done right now even if he tried. So he decided that they might as well call it a night.  “Let’s both get some sleep,” he said. “We’ll get to this in the morning.”

“It’s okay, I can…”

“Mike, it’s okay. We’re both tired. Let’s just go to bed. And no you’re not biking home his late. You can use my guest room and I have some clothes you can borrow. Now let’s go,” Harvey said and he got up and walked into his bedroom before Mike could start arguing. He dug around in his closet and found a pair of sweatpants and an old Harvard t-shirt that Mike could borrow. He tried resolutely not to think about Mike wearing his clothes even as he was picking them out, but he couldn’t deny the warm feeling in his chest at the image in his head.

Mike was standing by the window, looking slightly uncomfortable. He accepted the clothes with a quiet thank you. He looked at Harvey uncertainly and he opened and closed his mouth a couple of times.

“It’s okay, Mike. It’s not such a big deal,” Harvey said, trying to put him at ease.

“I can just go back to my apartment, you know. You don’t have to…”

“Mike, it’s one in the morning. I cannot let you go out at this time of the night, that too on a bicycle. I have a spare room and if staying here means you get a bit more sleep then I’m all for it. You work hard enough. Now stop talking and go to bed.”

Mike looked confused and rightly so. Harvey had always looked out for him and saved him every time he got into trouble, but he’d never actually been nice to him. Harvey didn’t have much practice being nice, but he was trying now and Mike didn’t know why, so he was confused. Harvey didn’t know what to do about that, so he didn’t do anything. He just turned on his heel, walked into his bedroom and shut the door. It was time to get into bed and freak out properly.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Harvey lay in bed and stared up at the ceiling. Right...so he was in love with Mike. He had no idea when or how it had happened, but it had. It was not something he'd ever wanted, but he had to deal with it now. So what was he going to to? Ignore his feelings the way he'd been ignoring his desire for Mike? He could do that. He could, maybe distance himself from his associate, ignore his feelings and hope they went away.

That sounded like a plan. Except for that whole distancing himself bit. He didn't like the sound of that at all. Because that would mean, no impromptu lunches with Mike, no letting Mike work in his office, no late night pizza while they worked on a case, no more bringing Mike home to finish the day's work and sharing dinner and certainly no more inviting him to stay the night and lending him clothes...

Okay, so he'd never done that before tonight, but it had felt so good. He was actually looking forward to seeing Mike in the morning. He pictured him stumbling out of the guest bedroom, not yet fully awake, all bleary-eyed and sleep-mussed, wearing Harvey's clothes. It was such an adorable picture. Harvey could imagine pulling Mike into a hug and ruffling his hair while Mike smiled a bit shyly at him...

That image did all sorts of wonderful things to his heart. He knew, in some part of his mind, that he should not be fantasising about Mike like this, not if he wanted his feelings to go away, but the fantasy was so appealing. He could see himself leaning into Mike and exchanging lazy, morning kisses while the coffee brewed and the toast got burnt. He could picture Mike laughing at him when he rushed to rescue the toast...

Harvey would finish making breakfast and coffee to go with it, while Mike sat at the breakfast bar smiling happily at him. He liked that image of Mike sitting at the breakfast bar and watching him while he made them breakfast. He couldn't imagine a nicer way to start the day...

Okay, wow. That was creepily domestic. He'd never, ever wanted that with anyone. No, domesticity was not part of his plan. It didn't suit his image at all. Which is why he needed to get rid of his feelings. Right. So he would go to sleep now and then he would get up in the morning and he would not do anything domestic. There was no way he was going to make breakfast for Mike. And he would stop with the nice. _I'm Mike's boss and I'm going to act like it,_ he decided.

It was good that he had a plan. He could go to sleep now...he tried. But sleep wouldn't come and he stayed awake for a long time, listing all the reasons why falling in love was a bad idea. He explained to himself at length why a relationship with Mike would not work out at all and why it was a good idea to get rid of his feelings. He finally fell asleep, feeling dissatisfied with himself.

He woke up a few hours later. He glanced at the clock and saw that it was seven 'o' clock. He was usually up at 5:30, but he'd been up so late last night, he must've slept through his alarm. He wondered if Mike had slept well and then he cursed himself for thinking about Mike, first thing in the morning. He went into the bathroom and washed up. Then he made his way to the kitchen, craving coffee. He wondered if Mike was still asleep...

No. Mike was awake and he was in Harvey's kitchen, wearing Harvey's clothes and looking adorably sleep mussed, just as he'd imagined the previous night.  Mike was standing at the stove, frying bacon and cooking eggs...he looked so completely at home. Mike turned around then and he smiled and Harvey was overcome by a wave of affection for this young man who had stumbled into his life and turned it upside down. 

"I hope you don't mind," he said, waving his hand vaguely at the stove.

"I don't mind the fact that you used my kitchen, Mike," he said, trying to sound as completely unaffected by the situation as possible.

"I wanted to make you breakfast," Mike said, somewhat shyly. Harvey's imagination had been totally on the money on that one. Mike looked adorable. 

"Why?"

"As a thank you, I guess. You were really nice to me last night. You didn't have to let me stay over."

"And you didn't have to make me breakfast," Harvey said, cracking a smile. "I'm glad you did though. I'm starving. Is there any coffee?"

"Yeah, of course. Why don't you sit down and I'll bring you some."

It was a complete reversal of his very domestic fantasy of the previous night. And it was a far greater threat to his composure, Harvey found, to have Mike fix him breakfast, pour him a cup of coffee and bring it over while Harvey sat at the breakfast bar and watched him. There was just something about Mike moving around in his condo like he belonged there, that appealed immensely to him.

"Aren't you going to have any?" Harvey said when Mike didn't join him.

"I don't have the time, sorry. Louis will kill me if I don't get in by eight 'o' clock. I barely have the time to shower and run as it is."

Mike was stepping away from the breakfast bar and Harvey should've let him go. Mike was an associate. He had to be at work by eight in the morning. But he couldn't let him go, somehow. He couldn't let him leave without having breakfast because he knew Mike wouldn't bother to eat anything all day. So he reached out and grabbed Mike's hand.

Mike looked surprised, but he didn't comment.

"Sit," Harvey said. "You were working until one 'o' clock last night. You're entitled to breakfast. I'll deal with Louis."

"Harvey, I always work until one in the morning, sometimes later."

Harvey sighed. Right, of course. "Just sit down, Mike," he said gruffly and withdrew his hand.

"Okay." Mike poured himself some coffee and ate a bit of toast. It wasn't until Harvey glared at him that he took some of the eggs and the bacon as well.

They ate in a comfortable silence while Harvey glanced through his newspaper and Mike browsed on his phone. It was painfully domestic and utterly perfect.


	3. Chapter 3

They got to the office by nine ‘o’ clock and they ran into Louis just as they stepped out of the elevator. He started in on Mike right away, but Harvey cut him off and insulted him and they did their usual routine until Louis retired hurt. Harvey had no idea why Louis kept doing this. He had no problem insulting him and putting him in his place, but why was the man so hell bent on being an ass? _That’s just Louis_ , he thought as he led Mike into his office.   

“You didn’t have to do that for me, Harvey,” Mike said.

“I know. I did it because I wanted to. And really, all I did was get you an extra hour in the morning. That’s not much at all.”

“But why, Harvey? Why do you keep sticking your neck out for me like that?”

There was plenty Harvey could’ve said in response to that, but he had no desire to reveal his feelings, so he smirked and said, “Because we’re a team.”

Mike smiled. “Right. And you still don’t care about me.”

“Not one lousy bit. Enough talk. Let’s get to work.”

It was easy to be in control and be all professional when they were in the office. So maybe that’s what he needed to do. Not invite Mike home and keep their interactions limited to the office. He could be as friendly as he wanted, they could tease each other and keep up the banter and just be normal, so long as they didn’t wind up in bars and restaurants or in each other’s homes. Right. Keep it professional.

It was surprisingly easy for the next two days because they were so swamped with work that he had little time to think about anything else. Finally the weekend rolled around and Harvey was relieved. He could go home catch up on his sleep and best of all, he could stay away from Mike for two whole days without looking like he was avoiding him.

Harvey never worked on a weekend if he could help it. He considered it one of the perks of being a senior partner. Mike would be working all of Saturday, tying up the loose ends and getting everything ready for the hearing on Monday. So Harvey would have two Mike-free days to get a hold of himself and stop giving to his feelings. He was going to get over Mike. It would take time, but he was going to do it.

He couldn’t just give in to his feelings, no matter how tempted he was, because a) Mike was probably straight. b) Mike was his subordinate and any moves that Harvey made could be construed as sexual harassment. Not that Mike would ever think that of him, but still. c) Mike was his associate and they worked very well together and he didn’t want to do anything to jeopardise that relationship.

And the most important reason of all, Harvey Specter did not do relationships or fall in love or make a commitment to anyone. He was just not that guy. He’d lost his faith in relationships early in life when he’d caught his mother cheating on his father. She’d done it repeatedly, without any shame or guilt and his father had been utterly heartbroken. Harvey had decided then, that he never, ever wanted to be in his father’s place. He never wanted to give anyone the power to hurt him like that. So falling in love with Mike or anyone else was just not in the plan.

Having presented all these well-reasoned arguments to himself, Harvey went to bed on Friday, resolving to go out and pick someone up the next day. He’d realised with some horror that it had been nearly three months since he’d been with anyone. He didn’t really know how or why that had happened, but he just didn’t seem to be interested in anyone. It seemed that even unconsciously, his feelings for Mike were getting in the way. It was time to stomp on his feelings and go get laid.

He slept in on Saturday morning. He woke up and went to the gym. He spent a couple of hours there, working off his nervous energy. Then he got back home, washed and showered and cooked and did whatever else he could to keep himself busy. Then he settled down to watch a movie, trying hard to ignore that inexplicable feeling of loneliness. He wasn’t paying much attention to the movie, but he sat through it anyway.

Then he got dressed and went to see Rene. He had a couple of suits to pick up. He was a bit annoyed when even suit shopping didn’t lift his spirits. But whatever, he was going to go out and get laid and then he was going to get all these feelings out of his system. He got back home and spent a good amount of time getting dressed. Then he called a cab and went to a swanky bar a few blocks from his home.

He walked in, put on his best smile and started looking around. Ten minutes later, he was sitting at a booth with a beautiful, blue-eyed, leggy blonde and making conversation. It was gratifying, at first, to have her hanging on every word of his. She was so impressed by the fact that he was a lawyer and boy did she love his suit. She was exactly the sort of woman that he tended to have his many one-night stands with…sexy, beautiful, not too intelligent perhaps, but hey, he wasn’t looking for conversation.

He felt vaguely ashamed of himself when he thought about it like that and he looked at her now and realised that while he was smiling and nodding, he felt not a flicker of interest. He’d walked into the bar, spotted her and had bought her a drink and struck up a conversation, falling easily into his old habits. But try as he might he could feel no desire whatsoever. He found her dull and uninteresting and felt downright creeped out when she cupped his cheek and leaned in for a kiss.

He pulled away and got up abruptly. She looked affronted. He apologised and legged it out of there. He stood on the road outside the bar and realised that he was well and truly fucked. He was just going to hail a cab when his phone rang. It was Mike. Just the sight of that name made him smile.

“Hi,” he said, trying not to sound breathless.

“Hi. Are you at home?” Mike said, sounding tentative.

“I’m at a bar, actually. Why?”

“Oh. I guess I’m interrupting something then.” Mike sounded disappointed.

“Not at all. I was just going home.”

“Right…so…ah…”

“What is it, Mike?”

“I just finished work and…this might sound stupid and childish and please feel free to say no…it’s just I’m…I’ve had a long week and I’m tired and stressed, but I don’t want to go home because I just don’t want to be alone right now and I don’t want to go to some bar and hang around with strangers either, so…”

“You need a friend,” Harvey said softly.

“I know that’s a bit presumptuous of me, but…”

“It’s not presumptuous,” Harvey cut in.  “I know I keep saying that I don’t care, but you know I don’t mean that, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I do. It’s a bit obvious.” Mike sounded relieved. Clearly, he’d been expecting Harvey to brush him off or worse, make fun of him.

“Then come on over. What do you say to dinner and a movie?” Harvey said. _And hopefully snuggling on the couch after_ , he thought.

“That sounds very good,” Mike said, sounding happier all of a sudden. “Thanks Harvey.”

Harvey hung up and stared at the phone. He was still fucked, but maybe he could something about it. Maybe it was time to stop fighting his feelings, because clearly, they weren’t going anywhere. They were only getting deeper, if anything. He hailed a cab and got in and he thought back over his day. He’d been antsy and restless and distracted…all because he’d missed Mike.

He was in love with a wonderful young man who was clever and funny, intelligent and caring and just plain nice. How on earth was that a bad thing? Sure, Mike might be totally straight and totally not interested in him, but that was a risk worth taking, wasn’t it? The simple truth that Harvey had been avoiding all this time was that Mike made him happy, so if Mike was interested in him at all…It meant breaking a life-long habit of not getting involved, but if anyone was worth breaking rules for, it was Mike.


	4. Chapter 4

Harvey got home and ordered pizza, because he knew that that was what Mike would like. Then he went through his DVDs and picked the 2009 Star Trek reboot. Mike had mentioned that hadn't seen it and Harvey had been appalled. He’d been meaning to make him watch it and this was as good a time as any. He'd just lined up the DVD when there was a knock on the door. His heart started thudding in his chest. He took a deep breath and went to open the door. Mike was standing there, looking uncomfortable, like he still was unsure of his welcome. 

Harvey smiled at him. "Mike, relax and smile if you can. I'm glad you're here," he said. 

Mike smiled, but it was still a bit tentative. 'Are you sure? I mean, I basically invited myself over."

"And I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to do so. Now will you please come inside?"

'Yeah. Okay. Thanks Harvey," Mike said as he walked in the door and kicked off his shoes. 

Harvey shut the door and turned to look at Mike who had collapsed on to the couch. He looked so exhausted. Harvey suddenly wanted nothing more than to wrap Mike in his arms and hold him close. But he fought the impulse valiantly. 

"I've ordered pizza,' he said as casually as he could. It should be here in another twenty minutes or so. Do you want to take a shower and change first?"

"A shower sounds good, but..." Mike said, looking uncomfortable again. 

"I'll lend you my clothes. It's no big deal," Harvey said and then he walked past Mike and went into his bedroom before Mike could protest. He dug up a fresh towel and the same pair of sleep pants and that Harvard t-shirt that he’d lent Mike the last time and he came back out. Mike had put away his bag and gotten rid of his tie and his jacket by then, leaving them draped neatly on the back of a chair.

Harvey handed him the clothes and the towel and pushed him towards the bathroom.

“Go,” he said. “Trust me, you’ll feel better.”

Mike nodded. “It’s the same shirt,” he said softy.

“Well, it suits you,’ Harvey said, trying not to blush _. And you look adorable in it._

“Thanks.” Mike smiled that shy smile of his and shut the bathroom door.

Harvey stood there, staring bemusedly for a couple of minutes. Then he decided to get out of there before Mike came out and saw him.

He got himself a beer and sat down on the couch. He felt restless and unsettled. It was almost as if he would not be able to calm down until he had Mike in his arms and he was kissing him stupid. Now that he had made up his mind, he seemed utterly unable to wait. He was still afraid that Mike might reject him, but surely it meant something that Mike had called and asked to spend the evening with him. And then there was that shy smile every time Harvey did something nice for him and the way he blushed when Harvey had been looking at him too long. All of that had to mean something, right?

Harvey was still lost in thought when Mike came out of the bathroom, his hair still wet from the shower, drops of water, dripping down his hair to his neck and threatening Harvey’s composure. Harvey stared at him for a minute while Mike stared back and there was definitely something there. Mike would not be looking at him like that if he wasn’t interested in Harvey at all. Harvey got up from the couch and considered grabbing Mike and kissing him and getting the point across instead of struggling to find words that he didn’t quite have at that moment…

And then of course the doorbell rang and Harvey had to stop staring at Mike and go get the pizza. He cursed a couple of times inside his head, but then he figured that he had probably been saved by the bell. Mike might not have appreciated being jumped on like that. He paid for the pizza, took a deep breath and walked back into the living room, doing his best to act normal. He put the pizza on the table and went to fetch a couple of plates and a two bottles of beer.

Mike had settled into the couch and turned on the TV. “Star Trek? Really?” he said.

“I told you I’d make you watch it one of these days. And be glad I picked the movie tonight. I’m going to make you watch the entire original series someday.”

“All this because I said I like Captain Picard?”

“Like him all you want, but he’s not better than Captain Kirk. A fact that you cannot agree with until you watch the original series. But you’re tired, so I’ve decided to let you off easy. Just the reboot for tonight.”

“You’re trying to indoctrinate me.”

“I’m trying to educate you.”

“Yeah right.”

“You’re not getting out of this, so you might as well enjoy it.”

“Fine. But on one condition.”

“What?”

“Lord of the Rings.”

“No way!”

“Hey, if I can watch Star Trek for you, you can most definitely watch Lord of the Rings for me.”

“I told you, I don’t like fantasy.”

“An opinion formed without having read or watched the greatest work of fantasy fiction ever written.”

“Fine,” Harvey said, giving in. He’d watch anything, so long as it meant that another evening like this Mike. “Can we watch this movie now?”

“Yes. I’m prepared to be wowed.”

Harvey started the movie, they grabbed their slices of pizza and their beers and settled into the couch. They were sitting a little closer together than usual, but neither of them commented on it and Mike made no attempt to move. So Harvey relaxed and decided to enjoy the movie and let things take their course.

Halfway through the film, Mike started talking and asking questions and they settled into the sort of conversation/banter that was their normal. It had always been like that, ever since they’d met, they had a certain ease with each other…they just seemed to fit together in a way that Harvey had never experienced and had never expected to find, even.

He turned to look at Mike now…Mike was absorbed in the movie. Harvey moved a bit closer and then he put his arm around Mike, not saying anything. Mike looked up at him, clearly surprised. Harvey didn’t say anything. Mike smiled and then he rested his head on Harvey’s shoulder and went back to watching the movie. Harvey turned his attention to the movie as well and they stayed like that until it ended.

Mike turned to him as the credits started to roll. “That was good,” he said.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I really enjoyed it.”

“So, original series?”

“Definitely. Thank you for making me see it,” Mike said and then he reached up and kissed Harvey on his cheek. He pulled back with a faint blush and an obvious question on his face.  

Harvey smiled. This could not have been more perfect. He put his hand on Mike’s cheek and cradled his face. Mike’s leaned into the touch and smiled.

“Are you going to kiss me, Harvey?” he said softly.

Harvey leaned forward and pressed his lips to Mike’s and they kissed. It was soft and tentative, just an exploratory first kiss and the relief and the joy were overwhelming. Mike put his hands around Harvey’s neck, Harvey slid his arms around Mike’s waist and pulled him into his lap and they kissed until they got breathless and then they kissed some more. Harvey simply did not want to stop and neither did Mike, it seemed. But they had to come up for air, so they did pull away from each other eventually.

“This is real isn’t it? This is really happening,” Mike said.

“I’m going to be heartbroken if it isn’t.”

Mike’s eyes widened at that. “You really mean that?” he said.

Right. So Harvey might have shown more of his emotions than he’d intended to at this point. His first impulse was to back off, but then, he decided that he’d had enough of pretending and playing his cards close to his chest and what not. He was not going to pretend with Mike. He was going to tell the truth.

“Yeah,” he said. “I’m serious about this, Mike. This not casual for me. This not just me having a bit of fun on a Saturday night. I need you to know that. And I need to know that you’re serious as well.”

“Harvey, I love you. That’s how serious I am,” Mike said.

Harvey was completely taken aback. He hadn’t expected that…at all. He knew that Mike was fond of him and that he cared about him, but he really had not expected this. Nor had he expected Mike to be so honest. It was refreshing and it made him realise once more what a treasure he had in the young man in his arms.

“Good,” he said. “Because I’m in love with you too. And you don’t know what you’re doing to me right now wearing my clothes and smelling of my shampoo…”

Mike cut him off with a kiss and soon they were laid out on the couch, kissing, touching and just being intimate in the way that Harvey had been craving for.


	5. Chapter 5

It was strange how content he was to just hold Mike in his arms and kiss him softly. Mike snuggled up to him and ran his nose along Harvey’s neck and Harvey played with Mike’s hair and they stayed like that on the couch… _cuddling_. Harvey struggled with the idea a bit because he was not a cuddler or a snuggler or anything like that. But here he was wrapping himself around Mike and doing exactly that. It was so… _innocent_. And it felt so good.  

Sure he wanted sex, but he was in no hurry to jump into bed. He wanted to take his time and just enjoy being close to Mike for now. And Mike seemed to want the same thing.Neither of them said anything for a while. They just lay on the couch, kissing lazily, hands wandering all over each other, straying under each others shirts and exploring each other slowly. Mike pulled away after a bit.  

"I still can't believe this is happening," he said. "I've spent the last two years wanting you and telling myself that I could never have you..." 

"Two years?"  

"Pretty much since the moment we met." 

Harvey was at a complete loss. He didn't know what to think.  

'Two years...all that time," he said sounding every bit as stunned as he was. "But why? How? I was such a bastard. I barely treated you with respect, I was almost never nice and I was completely selfish. I didn't think so at the time, but I know that now.” 

“Harvey, you gave me a chance that no one else would have. If it had been anyone else in that room, I would be in jail right now. You rescued me from a shitty life. And you did it so casually, risking your career for me like it was no big deal. How could I not fall for that?” 

“Sure, you were hard on me, but that was only because you wanted me to prove myself. You wanted me to prove that I deserved the opportunity you gave me. I was wrong-footed often. I hated that you wouldn’t teach me how to file a patent or how to prepare a subpoena, but I learnt.”  

“None of that stuff matters, Harvey. What’s important is that you’re always there for me when I need you, no matter how stupid I’ve been. You’ve rescued me time and again. You even helped Trevor, just because I wanted you to. How could I not love you?” 

Mike put his hand on Harvey’s face and caressed him. “And that is not even taking into account how utterly gorgeous, you are,” Mike continued, making Harvey blush. He was blushing? Really? He couldn’t recall the last time he’d blushed. It was just something that Harvey Specter did not do. But he couldn’t help himself now, not with Mike looking at him like that. 

“I know you have this whole, selfish, self-absorbed hardass image that you’ve built up, but I saw through you pretty quickly. Despite everything you say, you are a good man and you want to the right thing. You tell me not to care about clients, but you frequently stick your neck out for them, the way you do for me. So, yeah, I fell in love with you very soon after I met you. And you know what? It was the easiest thing in the world.” 

There was nothing at all that Harvey could say to that, he couldn’t even get his vocal chords to work considering the way Mike was looking at him, his eyes full of affection and fondness. No one had ever looked at him like that in his life. He felt privileged and unworthy at the same time. 

And he couldn’t help wondering at Mike. He’d had so much go wrong for him in his life, he’d lost people he loved, he’d been betrayed by people he cared about and yet he found it in himself to trust, to love and to see the good in Harvey even when Harvey had been doing his best to hide it... 

He couldn't help feeling ashamed of himself and his fear of commitment, his tendency to have sex-only relationships and his fear of being hurt. If anyone should be afraid of being hurt, it was Mike. And yet he wasn't afraid, while Harvey had spent days and months blocking out his feelings for Mike and hoping they'd go away. He was particularly ashamed of what he'd gone to the bar to do, earlier that evening. He was so glad he hadn't gone through with it. Clearly, his heart knew better than he did. He smiled at Mike now, letting him see how truly happy he was, to be here with him. 

"It hasn't been as long for me," he said.

"I know."

"It's been a few months, but because I'm not as emotionally mature as you are, I've spent most of that time trying to deny my feelings and hoping to get over you..."

"Because you don't like to get involved." 

"Yeah, I don’t. I absolutely did not want to fall for you, Mike. I really tried, but I simply couldn't get you out of my head.”   

"What can I say? I'm adorable," Mike said cheekily. 

"That you are. I’m sorry I was so stupid."

"It’s okay. You were scared. I can understand that.” 

Harvey had no idea what he had done to deserve Mike, but now that he had him, he was going to hold on to him for as long as he could. 

“I love you,” he said as he pulled Mike close and held him tight. 

I love you too, so much. You have no idea."

It was heady to hear Mike say that and Harvey just had to kiss him. Mike’s lips were soft and lush and it felt so good to run his tongue along those lips and Mike responded so beautifully. He seemed every bit as needy and desperate as Harvey. There was none of the usual fight for dominance and one-upmanship that he had with his one night stands. This was need and desire and love. They simply wanted each other, they were kissing because they couldn’t stop. 

It was thoroughly addictive. Perhaps it was the fact that for the first time in his life, Harvey was not trying to impress his partner. He was kissing Mike not as a prelude to sex, but because he wanted to, because he couldn't help himself, because he had all these feelings inside him that he would never find words for, feelings that he could only hope that Mike would understand from the way Harvey touched him and the way he held him and the way he kissed him like he was starving for it. 

If Mike’s responses were anything to go by, it seemed that he understood and he always would. 

… 

It was a few hours later. Harvey was in his bed with his arms wrapped around Mike, staring out of the window and smiling. Mike was asleep. Despite how relaxed and content he felt after their lovemaking, Harvey had been unable to fall asleep. The restlessness was gone and he had nothing at all to be anxious about, but he couldn’t sleep because his heart was too full. He was just so happy. 

It was a feeling that was completely unfamiliar to him and he lay there, looking at the way the moonlight lit up Mike’s face, reliving the way Mike had looked, as he’d clung to Harvey and cried out in pleasure as Harvey had thrust in and out of his body, claiming Mike as his own and giving himself in turn in every way he knew how. It had been the most incredible, the most achingly beautiful night of his life and he never wanted to forget it.

 

 


End file.
